While I sadly have no plans to visit anywhere soon, even New Jersey, I am thrilled with the fact that I get a full two week break from grad school. Nothing hangs over my head. I don't mentally need to prepare for anything. It's almost making me giddy! :) I have not had a real two week break since the program began. I mean, I get two weeks off for Christmas, but that was in the middle of a class, so it didn't really count! I have enjoyed week one, so it's time to salvage what I have left and get 'r done!
I sometimes wonder if the program I'm in is worth it. I'm not particularly passionate about the subject. I signed on for it when I still taught at the alternative high school, and it was much more pertinent, applicable, and my time was much more available. But then I remind myself it's only a little more than 14 months away, and I've spent all this money, etc. I just don't know if it's worth it to me. Perhaps a program I cared more about, yes, but I don't know if this is it. I should figure it out soon, because if not, I'm stressing a TON about an Action Research Project and paper that is due at the end of the spring. I don't like the idea of quitting, nor do I like the idea of having spent all this money on books and tuition, etc. However if I feel somewhat apathetic about the whole ordeal, that's making the process harder too, and possibly not worth the trouble. Please send me advice, those of you with grad school experience. I really am stuck and don't know what to do. At all. It sucks!!!
I keep planning out things I want to do; after grad school is over. Things like teaching overseas. Doing more plays. Reading for long lengths of time because I can. Sigh. Well, here's an example: Last summer when I spent my 10 hours in NYC I had a ball. I love New York so much! Anyway, my friends said, "Why don't you spend the summer here? You could get a job working at a theatre as an usher, or a dresser or something. We'd help, and you could stay with us!" I'm still dazzled by this idea and really want to do it! I want to go out there and just live. I get paid through the summer. Perhaps I could FINALLY make it up to PEI and visit all of Anne's haunting grounds. I looked at my summer class schedule and it looks like it's a doozy. Is it worth it? I mean really. I honestly don't know if I could really get a chance to experience living in New York over the summer if I'm tied down with tons of classes that honestly do not sound even remotely interesting to me.
So I throw this question out to the masses. Should I bother? Really and truly bother with the rest of this program that really doesn't stir any excitement up in me anymore. I mean, it's interesting, but I don't know if my stubbornness to continue in such a program for the sake of not being a quitter really cuts it for me. But then what? When do I get a masters? Are all programs like this? HELP!!!
The title comes from the song "Atlantic City" from Ragtime, which (along with Les Miserables) is my favorite musical.
